This whole week at work is all about meeting suppliers for product presentations as a slew of them are in town for the industry exhibition. One of my bosses* have assigned me the task of liaison and coordination for all these people wanting to meet us. I used to do this job 10 years ago as a rookie engineer. Simple task.
Yet I have been stressing out about this week of meetings since two weeks ago, and hoping that time passed slow enough that this week wouldn’t get here. I have been having some kind of work related social anxiety since I started trying to get back on track where my career is concerned. I am finding myself resistant to meeting people at work, even people I am familiar with. I get mini anxiety attacks every time a supplier presentation draws close. I don’t want to be social, just want to sink myself into the cubicle and stay there until 5.30 pm comes around and I can happily swan off home.
Sure I was always an introvert, but I was never socially awkward where work relations are concerned. I was always able to handle the socialization required at work quite well. Enough that I get slated for a lot of front line jobs. Some associates at work think I am joking when I tell them I am actually an extremely introverted person.
So I don’t know what is happening to me. Am I getting more mentally fragile? Is it time to activate the therapist again ($200 per hour, my gosh!)? Or should I simply fake it till I make it (or become certifiable)?
*I am looking forward to the day when I will have only two bosses to report to.