My First Step to Participating In Society

I went and did something I never thought I would ever do in this lifetime: become a political activist.

I signed up about a week ago with the youth network of one of the local political parties. Not going to say which one though. The things I do to protect my anonymity.

Despite joining the group, I do not think I am going to turn into a raging reactionary overnight. After all, I had spent most of my 30-odd years nurturing my apathy, and it is going to take more than a few days of active political thoughts to undo that. J

My reasons for joining:

1)      I am going into this with an open mind to find out about the situations and challenges facing Singapore, and what the ruling party is thinking and planning. I am sick of unsubstantiated arguments and attacks on the government. Criticise, sure, but do it with some thinking and substantiation. I figured I should practice what I preach, and find out more for myself. It may turn out that I will be totally disillusioned by what I discover, but I would have at least made the effort.

 2)      I want to find a cause to champion. Other groups I was considering joining were the union and Singapore Council of Women’s Organisations (SCWO). Ultimately, I will probably end up in one of these, but I think having an understanding of the political and governmental background will help me in my work in these other organizations in future. Just treat it like a homework assignment before the exam.

 3)      Networking. As an introvert, I have a lot of problems with this, but I do understand the worth being well-connected. It benefits not only me, but also whomever I choose to help in future. Frankly, I would never have been able to do this if networking had been the sole aim, but as a side benefit to participation, it is not as bad.

I am looking forward to what unfolds. The people whose opinions I care about have indicated nothing but support. This is my first step in participating more in society and hopefully ends in me giving back as much as I have received from it.

What To Do With A Million Dollar Networth?

It is the end of the month again, and Networth Tallying time. Net worth is hovering in the low 600K, but there are still a number of ins and outs to be accounted for due to the condo renovation and rental, so I won’t go into details.

While in the process of updating numbers and making projections, I suddenly realised that if I managed to keep up the same networth increase of around 50-60K that I have been averaging in the last couple years (not difficult as long as my company continues to prosper), I will reach million dollar status in about 5 years time. Just in time for my 40^th birthday.

There is no euphoric rush at the realisation and I wonder why. Perhaps because my goals are still up in the air, so reaching a million dollar networth doesn’t feel particularly relevant to anything.

I realise that I have never talked about my financial goals on this blog, and there is only one reason for that. I have trouble pinning them down. Oh, the big picture is easy – I want Financial Independence as early as possible. What constitutes FI for me? How to achieve? These are the stuff that I am still pondering over. Knowing me, I will probably have 2 million in the bank before I can even answer one of the questions partially.

The problem is not so much that I don’t know what I want, but how I should craft my FI around my parents. Their financial situation is kind of a mystery to me; I know they are far from destitute, but how much they have, how much can be relied on for their retirement is still unknown. We also have not discussed about what kind of lifestyle they want post-retirement and what that would take financially, and who would be responsible for what costs. There is also the shadow of future medical costs – My father alone spends about $400 per month on medications currently. How will this change as both parents age further? How much should I allow for catastrophic illnesses for them, and then for me? And more…..and more…..

I do know that I should start the information exchange on these issues soon if I want to get anywhere, and honestly, I want to. Being in limbo makes me feel insecure. But I don’t want them to feel that

1)      I have designs on their money, and

2)      they are a burden to me financially,

so I have tread really carefully. So far I have been inserting “innocent” questions about their circumstances whenever they happen to bring up any relevant topics during our conversation, but man, it is slow going.

The other issue, is that my ideal FI scenario involves me either downshifting to a lower paying job (maybe social work, maybe retail services etc – something more to pass the time, than make money), and I don’t know how my parents will see that. Actually, I do. They belong to the old school mentality and will probably see early retirement as laziness.

I could and probably will end up ignoring them on this front if they really cannot see the light by the time I reach FI, but in the meantime, I really want to try to seek their understanding and acceptance of this goal of mine. I know my life is mine to live and pursue, but I also know that I

1)      respect my parents and want their respect in turn, so their approval means a lot

2)      have to live with my parents until they pass on, so I rather not face disapproval of my “laziness” day in, day out.

So in the meantime, I continue to hoard money, and do whatever investments that look sound, but really still have no clue what to do with the money and when to stop accumulating. Isn’t this the kind of problem most people would love to have, having a million dollars and no idea what to do with it?

Furnishing The Condo

We did it! We managed to furnish the condo with brand new and quality stuff well within my 8K budget. And no IKEA stuff either.

 

Electronics

6kg Washer

6kg Dryer

42” LCD TV

32” LCD TV

Blue Ray DVD Player

300 L 2D Fridge

Vacuum Cleaner

1.8L Rice Cooker

Electric Kettle

16” Standing Fans x 2

 3 year warranty for the lot

 Total: SGD 2573.00

Furniture

3+2 Seater Sofa

Coffee Table

Shoe Cabinet

King Size Bed with Mattress

Queen Size Bed with Mattress

Single Bed Mattress Only

Bedside Table x 2

Dresser with Mirrors x 2

Dining Table with 6 Chairs

Roller Chairs x 2

Total: SGD 4150.00

It isn’t exactly a Home and Décor look-alike, but the place looks really presentable after we got everything in place. I am just so happy that we spent less than 7K for furnishings, even after factoring in stuff like cutlery and bedlinens.

We handed over the keys yesterday night. Frankly, I am simply glad enough that the whole thing has been settled. Work has been so busy that I barely had the extra time to handle the rental stuff as well.

So now, all that is left is sit back and collect money. Am I looking forward to this part of being a landlord!

A Gai Shan Life and My Thoughts of Being An Asian in An Increasingly Western Society

I meant to write this post a long, long time ago, but I never quite got hold of the proper motivation to put my thoughts down on paper. Seeing Revanche’s comments  on my blog made the impetus to write this post even stronger, but as you can see, I didn’t manage to get it down the way I wanted until now. Blame it on slow processing speed.

I found Revanche’s blog early last year and have read her entire archives. Her blog is one of my favorites, not only because of her writing style, but because some of the topics she touches are close to my heart, specifically Asian values and family in a Western setting, and her internal conflicts relating to these.

I think a lot about the place of traditional Asian values in cosmopolitan Singapore, where the ideas of Western individualism are fast gaining traction among the younger generation. I ponder, in particular, over the Asian values that dictate family as the main motivation of our actions and decisions, and the society or community in close second place.

I think my generation is the most highly conflicted, having been educated for most of our early lives by these traditional values, yet feeling the pull to pursue the rest of our lives independent of what our family and/or society demand as our responsibilities. There is a feeling of intense guilt in abandoning the former, contrasted with the immense satisfaction in being able to achieve the latter. I think many of us are still struggling for a proper balance between the two; whether there is even one, remains to be seen.

This struggle is doubly hard for the women of my generation in Singapore. The demands of a family oriented versus an individual oriented lifestyle are virtually at opposite ends for a woman.

I myself have chosen to take a more individualistic approach, and declined the marriage and kids route, though the decision did come with plenty of guilt, made worse by Singapore’s low birth rates, one of the lowest in the world. I feel that I am failing my parents and ancestors (by not continuing the circle of life) and also failing my country. But not enough to abandon the decision; I really don’t think I have what it takes to love a child that way, and I don’t want to have that confirmed only when it is too late for the child.

On the other aspect of my parents, there was never any doubt that I would undertake their support fully in their old age and retirement, both financially and physically.  However, I would not be entirely honest if I didn’t confess that there are times when I contemplate the fact that I would easily have been on my way to retirement at 45 years old if I didn’t have the responsibility of my parents. Guilt.

My parents are still relatively healthy yet, but the shadow of dementia/Alzheimers and other age related health issues are never far from my mind. I have accepted the fact that I will eventually come to be fully responsible for their care, and my traditional upbringing dictates that I need to be the actual caregiver in the event when their health desert them. I love my parents and want them with me for as long as possible. Yet, I am also cognizant of the impact of their longevity on my own life and sometimes panic a little when I think about the future with my parents. Can I not to have my life to myself? More guilt.

Given my own conflicts, I am particularly interested in how Asian immigrants in Western countries and their first generation offspring deal with this. Do they still act as their traditional upbringing demand, or have they embraced their values of their new country fully? Or maybe they are also struggling to reconcile the two, the same way we are struggling across the world.

Therefore, I felt a sense of kinship on first reading A Gai Shan Life; there seems to be a parallel in some of our thoughts and feelings, even though our experiences are far from the same. I definitely do not have the same challenges she faces with her family, but can definitely appreciate her struggle to do what her Asian upbringing requires, especially in the face of “stop enabling” comments from some of her readers.

Anyway, there is really no conclusion to my thoughts, just an ongoing exercise in finding the balance between the new world and the old.

And of course, continuing my stalking of Revanche at her blog.

On Women Hurting Women

I had problems coming up with a better title for this post. I’ve also argued with myself about posting this. I don’t want to come across as a moralising bitch. But apparently I do find some things worth that iffy reputation.

Anyway, my sister just returned home from a short overseas holiday trip with a good friend. The good friend is male and married with two young daughters. His wife and daughters did not accompany him on this trip. My sister is single and unattached.

Anyway, the relationship between my sister and her friend is innocent enough. Also, according to my sister, the guy’s wife knew about the trip and had okayed it, apparently happily enough. My sister was all raves about the wife’s positive attitude about the trip.

Still, both my mother and I had concerns on whether it was the right thing for my sister to do.

Is there really any woman in the world who will not mind if her husband takes off for a planned overseas holiday alone with another young, unmarried and reasonably attractive woman, without her? Even if he has been utterly faithful thus far, and shows no sign of straying. Even if she professes to trust him absolutely.

My sister would definitely have minded if the shoe had been on the other foot. No matter how innocent it was.

Knowing that she would feel differently if the situation had been reversed was it then morally correct for her to take the trip with her friend?

My mother was particularly affected by my sister’s decision, because she used to be the victim of such thoughtlessness. My father used to employ a young, married female secretary who happened to live very near us. My dad would often give her rides between her home and the office. My mother was working as an operator in a nearby factory during that time, so my father would also drive her to work and back home daily.

For the rides homeward, my father’s secretary would park herself in the front seat beside my dad, since she gets on the car first at the office. When they get to my mother’s workplace, the lady did not vacate her seat for my mum, nor did my father make any request of her to do so. Neither did she acknowledge my mother when she entered the car. So the trio would drive home, looking for all the world as if the secretary was my father’s wife, while my mother was some friend they picked up on the way!

It happened frequently enough that my mother’s colleagues came to notice it as well and made insinuating remarks about my mother’s marriage. My mother is a cool lady and handled it well, but all the time, she was burning with humiliation inside.

There were many other incidents of disrespect. My mother was proud enough to act as if they didn’t affect her, but inside it was a different story.

Though I believe that the secretary never had that kind interest in my father, the sheer thoughtlessness on  her part caused the situation to get bad enough for my mother to finally give my father an ultimatum, cease or divorce.

To this day, I don’t know what my father would have decided. Because just about that time, the secretary left my father’s company.

As a witness to my mother’s misery during the entire episode, I tend to take the stand that my sister should not have made the trip, regardless of how her friend’s wife reacted. The other woman could have genuinely not been affected, but she could also have been like my mother.

By the way, I am not minimizing the responsibility of the man involved in this case. However, we cannot control the man’s sensitivity and sense of responsibility, but we can control our own actions.

There are few justifications for a woman to hurt another woman like this.

A real affair is one thing. One could argue that the other woman has at least something of herself vested in the relationship with the man. Something which may be worth hurting another woman for. Like true love, or something.

But for just a few days of fun with one friend out of many? I’m sorry, but no.

Blogger’s Block

There are a lot of topics I want to discuss on the blog and I have even written the darn posts about a hundred times in my mind. But when I put fingers to keyboard, nothing comes out. In the meantime, my mind is a bubbling mess, and consumes too many of my waking hours.

I wish I could just somehow connect my brain to the computer directly, or do some kind of mind writing, or anything, just to get those thoughts out of my brain onto the computer and out to the people who probably don’t want to read them anyway. Anything but just letting the thoughts continue to swirl around in my brain, and making me all distracted and unfocused, and gradually driving me crazy in the bargain.

Grrr…..

Good News All Round

These two weeks have been busy and somewhat stressful, but also full of good news.

I just completed a major submission for work today, which is a major load of my shoulders. This submission was also part of the “proof” to show management that I am getting back on track, so I am gladder than ever that it is now completed.

Work in general is going on fine. I no longer wake up in the morning dreading coming in to the office. I haven’t gone as far as actually looking forward to getting to work, but at least, when I am here, I am not clocking watching. Time flies and I am happy, challenged in a good way and generally enjoying myself. Working OT is no longer a chore. I love my current bosses and the feeling is mutual. Life is pretty good at work.

The condo renovation has been giving me any amount of stress. Nothing is worse when the contractor does a bad job, and you cannot yell and make a fuss because ze is a friend of your parents. I have been suppressing and suppressing my anger, and subjecting my parents to mad rants. Thank god my parents have seen the quality of work done on my condo for themselves, and have pitched into the contractor with a vengeance.

At any rate, it is all done, and we spent the Easter holidays just cleaning. I was going to hire a cleaner, but my mum wants to save me a few hundred bucks, so we made it a family affair. The results were well worth the effort and we received further reward this week. Thanks to the hard work and golden tongue of my rental agent, I got a tenant who is willing to pay an extra $1300 a year over our asking price, provided we furnish the place.

The lease is fixed for two years, which means an extra $30K income for the duration of the lease. Thanks to Mr C, who has recommended a source of extremely cheap, quality furniture and electronics, I think I should be able to furnish the place for about $8-10K. After accounting for renovation costs and setting aside income tax provisions for the two years and agent fees (she deserved every cent), I should just about break even. Which makes me very, very happy since a few things were supposed to be out of pocket.

I am feeling blessed.

The Real Life Answer to “What Do You Make?”

There are some on the blogosphere who have been asking why there aren’t more people in the real world sharing their income details openly, or at least to people who ask.

My take? Because those who ask make it obvious that they are interested in more than just the numbers.

Question: What do you make?

Answer A: $10,000 a year.

Why aren’t you working 80 hours a week? Why aren’t you working at a second job? Why are you driving a new car? What, a new couch? NO! How dare you own a cell phone? You are not allowed to go on vacation! You need to eat rice and beans for the rest of life! Poor people are suckers! You are a loser!

Answer B: $100,000 a year.

You should pay higher taxes! Why aren’t you donating more to charity? Why aren’t you paying for my meal? I don’t know you, but you should pay for my (insert whatever), just because. You should happily pay $10 for this doodad, even though the sign says $5, just because! Why are you so cheap? You can afford it! Rich people are assholes! You are evil!

On the internet, all you have to do is to turn off the browser and you can get away from it all. Few people will have the courage to subject themselves to the potential hounding in real life.

So, no. It is not just about the numbers.

Networth – 1st Quarter 2012

Despite the dismal predictions for 2012 , the networth values for the first quarter looks very encouraging. 

	2011 Final	31-01-2012	28-02-2012	31-03-2012
Total Net Worth	$537,738.50	$556,611.54	$562,814.21	$602,141.69

 Most of the increase came from bonuses and share options. This year I received 4 months worth of variable bonus. This is actually the low end company-wide (some hardworking colleagues are getting 8 months), but I am not upset or bitter, nor do I blame anyone. I take full responsibility for all my shenanigans of the past year, even if some of it were out of my control. Share options were not affected, and company share price is at a cyclical high, so I get to reap the benefits.

 Markets are also trending up, so my portfolio looks better. I did lock in a couple of losses last month when I unloaded an unstable stock, but the losses were small. However, this stock gave me the best dividends (~10%) among all the members of my small portfolio, so there is a bit of disappointment on my part.

 Meg at World of Wealth shared about her crazy networth growth , and commented on the amazing fact that a large part of the growth was happening automatically. I confess to the coming to the same wonderful conclusion when I realise that my renters had been paying for my mortgage reduction for the past few months. If it all goes according to schedule, I can expect a $20,000 increase in networth per year just from renting out the property. I know the risks and pitfalls of investing in real estate and landlording, but I still have to say it is my most preferred method for growing wealth.

April and May are going to be iffy, because the condo is now empty and my agent has not gotten any bites. So I am potentially looking at 0 rental income months. I am very glad that I have the buffer from the bonuses etc, but I am really hoping for good news soon.

The Right To $600,000 Weddings

I judge, I know I do. I try very hard not to vocalise it. But still, there are some things that are hard to keep quiet about.

Two weeks ago, there was a feature about theme weddings in the Straits Times. Expensive theme weddings.

One couple threw a wedding bash that cost an estimated $600,000. This included stag/hen parties etc, but still, $600,000.

The couple in question consists of a lawyer (her) and a sales manager (him). The papers stated that their parents would be helping out with part of the costs.

It is not my money and not my life. If they want it and can afford it, I guess they can do what they want. Actually, even if they cannot afford it, I guess they can still do what they want.

$600,000 can pay for a 5 room flat (in a mature estate) in full, or two super luxury cars, or raising two children to adult hood, or a comfortable retirement for two for 10 years (at least).

As long as they never, ever make any noise about not being able to afford:

1) To buy a place in Singapore,

2) To afford to drive in Singapore,

3) Raising children in Singapore,

4) Retirement in Singapore,

Yeah, then they can do whatever they want.